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Turn your upset into victories!
By Mike Wang | March 24, 2008
Ever wondered how you can turn your day around after encountering something that did not go your way or having some expectations that you had unfulfilled? I had many instances when the whole day turn into a series of screwed ups and nightmares from things that go wrong early in the morning… Some examples are like waking up late, forgetting to do something when the deadline is due, having an argument with someone, etc… These things can really spoil my day and get me down for the entire day.
Recently, i had a personal victory over getting over something that really got me quite flustered. Interested to find out more about it? Read on….
My dad went for a bypass operation for block arteries sometime earlier last month. What happened was that none of my family members were being informed of the change in the operation timing. So by the time my family reached the hospital, he was already pushed into the operating theater. I was really flustered and angry at not being informed about the change in the operation timing. I almost had a quarrel with the hospital staff…
However, I identified what was causing the upset which is the unfulfilled expectation of not able to communicate with my dad and reassuring him before the operation. I was committed that he was at peace before going in for the operation and I want to let him know that regardless of what happened, I will take care of the family. So getting into a quarrel with the staff would not get me the results that I am committed to.
Hence, once I am sure of the thing that was causing me to be upset, I communicated with the hospital staff and work on where the communication breakdown occurred. Miraculously, things turned better and I was able to talk to my dad just before he had his operation. He was just resting and preparing the operation when I reached the hospital. So after communicating my intentions without blaming the staff, I was able to work things out and cleared up what was making me upset.
What I learn from this incident was not to concentrate on the problem but rather to think about the solution. It is not necessary to have a fight or flight response whenever we encounter a problem. A lot of times we are always so concerned with winning or dominating whenever an issue arises that we are oblivious to the effect of what we “winning” the game will cost us. Many marriages, friendships and family relationships have turned sour due to our desire to have our way and dominate rather than honoring the commitment that we want the relationship to work.So, the next time that you encounter a problem, think about what the “cost” of winning could be and whether there is a win-win solution that you can have to get over the upset and at the same time keep to the commitment that you have. We wouldn’t get upset over something if it is something that we are not committed to. Hence, honor that commitment over that of your wish to win and dominate in a difficult situation.
Topics: Self Improvement- Overcoming Hurdles |
March 24th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Nice Site layout for your blog. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Tom Humes
March 26th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Tom, thanks for your comment.
Glad to know that you enjoy reading the article.